The al-Huxtables

Forget the foolish notion that CBS's main journalist Katie Couric thinks a Muslim version of the Cosby TV show could somehow do for Muslim-American relations what it did between whites and blacks--it's her general cluelessness that warrants the clown hat.

Most people understand that while black people might have been pissed at white America for decades of injustice they weren't suicidally at war with the concept of America in general. They just wanted a fair piece of it, and to be treated fairly.

Is that what Muslims want? They don't have a long history of being treated unfairly here--most injustices stem back ten years or so to about the time some radical members of their faith tried to take out the government. Faisal Rauf is certainly being treated fairly--sometimes with kid gloves--yet he wants a version of Sha'ria law for America, not equal justice. How would a Muslim Cosby Show cure that?

More than likely it would turn into a cauldron of politically correct propaganda to advance certain agendas with little resemblance to reality.

But let's humor the journalist for second. How might a Muslim Cosby Show go?

First, there would be a few tough production decisions to make upfront about how this mythical al-Huxtable family would be depicted. Such as, would the dad be modern or fundamental in his religious pursuit? If not fundamental, wouldn't that offend the fundie branch to the point of perhaps sparking a real life fatwa from Awlaki? Hmm, maybe that could be an episode.

And what sect? Sunni? Shi'a? Sufi? They would have to be careful there, but that's at least three episodes, showing them fighting ala Hatfields and McCoys with their opposite-sect relatives!

How about the wife? Veil or not? Burkha? Hijab? Nothing? Maybe she could be an Americanized version, an ex hippie type who shunned her faith with her radical daughter deciding to wear the veil. Doing the reverse (daughter defying the veil) might cause a strong dad to have to do an honor killing but boy, think of the ratings! Sort of like who shot JR, does he or doesn't he.

How about all the things that tempt modern young boys? Would the son, let's call him Omar, be tempted by hot little white prostatots down at the corner bijou? How would they handle it?

And what of jihad? Taboo subject or would the al-Huxtable family condemn it? But if they condemn it wouldn't that land them with a real life fatwa from Awlaki? One might imagine Omar or another son grappling over whether to self-explode at the Christmas lightning festival, being counseled by some faraway Imam via email. Or the FBI. So many possibilities.

And Lord have mercy, what would they say about Miss USA? (I'd have to TIVO that one, btw)

Yes, yes, the above would be used by Couric to make her point--see, these rednecks really DON'T understand Islam in America. And maybe we don't. But most of us understand that the friendly guy down at work who smiles but talks a little too much about religion has been known to blow up or open fire at times. It's darn hard to identify the enemy sometimes. And the enemy right now is basically 100 percent Islamic. But hey, maybe an Islamic version of Cosby would clear that up a bit better, so heck, bring it on.

MORE 12/31/10

Here's an irreverent "Muslim year in review" from 2010 (or whatever year the Muslims are using). The list generally makes fun of people like moi, but you know, I could actually deal with an al-Huxtable show that made fun of people like me--a comedy--with perhaps an Archie Bunker character rooming with Abdul and Mohammed and the zany hilarity produced by their different worldviews. That might be fun, joking back and forth like Arch and the Meathead.

But notice she did a year-end review and never mentioned any of the American Muslims captured in jihad stings/busts or the turmoil produced by the package bombs, or the chilling words from Attorney General Holder. And that's part of the problem. While our soldiers fight 100 percent Muslim Armies in Yemen, Iraq and Afghanistan, and American Muslims occasionally pop up in defense of the enemy, we have people doing their best to whitewash the true hate and turn it around on the victims as bigots. Even Archie wouldn't do that.