The speech was probably more confusing than the Isla Vista shooter's diatribe, bouncing around from one policy position to another with the requisite number of if's and's and but's covering all bases. But in a nutshell:
Bush sucked. I'm not Bush, or even George Washington, who was an isolationist--I'm a success because I won't commit troops to war for flimsy things like Bush, who was dumb and sucked. I will never turn our back from a fight unless there's a chance of civilian casualties, in which I'll employ our smart power of coalitions, partners, diplomacy, butterflies, warm cookies and KFC regular recipe buckets. But wait! As to those climate change deniers, we shall fight those bastards on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender!When in trouble, pivot to the old standby. Meanwhile in the real world, a group of chemical weapons inspectors were attacked yesterday on their way to visit a possible chlorine gas attack near Damascus, Syria..
An international team sent to investigate allegations that chlorine gas had been used as a weapon in Syria’s civil war came under attack on Tuesday, forcing it to abort its mission to reach a village where numerous such attacks have been reported.Chlorine attack? Didn't we have a smart power deal with Putey Poot? Apparently the 160,000 dead Syrians, largely civilians, must be the reason we didn't send any troops. And maybe that's why the Prez dressed down a female White House reporter for daring to ask whether we've got any troops in Qatar training the Syrian rebels, who will one day end up fighting or converting to AQ as soon as Assad's number is up. But not core AQ.
In other news, Thailand remains under martial law and the State Dept warned all Americans to leave peaceful, liberated Libya for some reason. But fear not, unlike all those Republicans screaming for him to send troops to Libya and Thailand, Obama will not, because he's George Washington. Besides, our real battle is against Joseph Kony, and the fight continues until it's over.