Side Tracks

One of the more under-appreciated comics in my opinion. 

Is that cool or what!

A nice Friday stroll after a trying week. 

The president detoured to Stonehenge to knock an item off his bucket list today.   No word on who paid for this private side trip, which was designed to tick off the fiscal conservatives in the Tea Party and John McCain, according to anonymous sources who were later arrested for leaking.   No word on any other sites that might be on the list or when US taxpayer funded transport aircraft might be diverted to help in future efforts. Insiders hint the North Pole is on the list, along with a certain bar in the Philippines.   

A lot was accomplished during the week despite the trials and tribs.   Obama finally won the argument with himself, declaring Friday that despite what Obama said Wednesday he would degrade and destroy ISIS to the extent possible, using a coalition of nine countries.  John Kerry quickly added there would be no "boots on the ground"--a "red line"--this despite over 1000 boots already on the ground.  No word on the consequences for Obama in breaking Kerry's red line or whether Kerry knew boots were already on the ground.  Asked for comment later Kerry's servant said the Secretary was out wind surfing.

But that wasn't the only news.  Asked by reporters earlier if the US considered itself 'at war' with ISIS, administration flaks quickly said 'no' despite the new strategy to degrade and destroy ISIS, who as recently as Wednesday could be managed but have apparently grown out of control and must now be destroyed, using a new rule created by Obama's pen and phone called the We Are Not at War Powers Bombing Act.  

This idea was expanded upon later by Joe Biden (he had stopped at a biker bar for directions after detraining at the wrong Amtrak station) who said America would pursue ISIS to the Gates of Hell as he chatted up a Hell's Angel biker chick he mistook for Hillary Clinton.  Administration flaks hurriedly tried to explain, saying "Obama ends wars.  We are not at war with ISIS, but they are at war with George W. Bush, who drove the car into the ditch and we're going to take away the keys".  NBC News' new Sunday Show host Chuck Todd nodded in agreement over his cheaters, scribbling something in his notepad looking serious.
         
Feeling left out, Michelle Obama and Jen Psaki considered starting a new hashtag campaign aimed at ISIS but couldn't quite come up with a catchy phrase like 'bring back our girls', considering what our citizens have lost in the past few weeks.  So that idea was quickly abandoned in favor of calling Bill O'Reilly a sexist meany on Facebook (or as BOR calls it, a machine).   There will be a one-hour Factor special on the brouhaha Tuesday.    

Some political analysts say the Stonehenge stop was a diversion away from a harsh reality of a president who won a Nobel Prize for ending dumb wars of aggression and, well, for being himself, having to start a war in an area where he had declared the war "over" after withdrawing all troops.  The decision to "destroy" anything appears to be a hard sell amongst his cabinet members and advisers since such would certainly require a commitment of forces to Syria, a place where he failed to uphold a self-imposed red line on the use of WMDs and failed to arm the light-moderate Muslims fighting Assad, who have now become moderate-severe Muslims (along with the renovation of ISIS). According to other anonymous sources the stop at Stonehenge was a mind exercise in exiting boxes, while Ron Paul supporters claimed it shows that aliens exist and called for 9/11 to be re-investigated.

I'd Play Golf, Too

It's funny to watch the redheaded spokeswoman at the State Dept try to tamp down what appears to be absolute mass chaos around the world.  They tell em in media training, keep smiling! 

But in reality there's not much to smile about.  Smart Power seems to be running low on solar cells at every turn.  In the north the Russians just put Ukraine on a pre-payment system for gas supply and sent them a bill, which means they're in default because they haven't paid lately.  A Ukrainian transport plane was just shot down and Russian tanks were seen being slipped across the border and given to the 'rebels' there.  But that crisis is over because the media has lost interest. 

In Iraq there's a new crisis with bizarre scenarios that so defy imagination that nobody could have seen them coming except the Long War Journal.  Sunni jihadists, who've been part of the 'rebels' fighting Assad and Iran in Syria with our de facto help, have suddenly hacked and chopped their way towards Baghdad chasing a Shiite-heavy army shedding its uniforms, guns, tanks and perhaps even Stinger missiles on their way south.   They are being helped by some of Cheney's dead-enders we eliminated back in 2003.  Speaking of Assad, he's now launching air strikes in.... Iraq, targeting the terrorists we're helping in Syria to target him. This is blow back on steroids. 

What to do?  Well, whenever there's a crisis this administration immediately sends out the young smiling faces to tell us everything is fine and that we're giving peace a chance, usually with a fancy diplomatic meeting in a snazzy hotel in Geneva complete with warm croissants and Dom Perignon 56--vegan choices available.  As to those staff seen leaving our embassy at Fort Baghdad, they are only going on sight-seeing trips around the region and will be replaced by other 'staff', sometimes known as US Marines. 

But they are not technically boots on the ground because the embassy is our ground and besides, Iraq was a dumb war and Bush's mistake will never be erased from history even if Hillary and Kerry pretend they never voted for it.  And there's no military solution for this or any problem on earth, that is, unless we lose a military engagement to the bad guys, at which point Bush is right over there, throw a shoe at him.


There must be somewhere to turn for help.  Why yes, eastward, to the people yelling "Death to America!"  When the Ayatollahs start looking friendly enough to qualify as the enemy of our enemy we're in trouble. What next, Mookie al-Sadr in front of the embassy throwing flowers and waving the American flag welcoming us back?  Sheer madness. 


Go west, young man.  Except when you go west you'll see the Palestinians have formed a 'technocratic' unity government that includes HAMAS but doesn't include them because that would be illegal as America designates them as terrorists and we don't deal with terrorists (until we do, at which point the mainstream media will show up to lecture us on the nuances) so we couldn't technically talk to the new government, wink, wink, nod, nod. 

Meanwhile the Israelis are busy sweeping up the usual suspects all over the Holy Land after the kidnapping of three teenagers, including one with American citizenship.  Word is Obama has already agreed to give up KSM and the Blind Shiekh in return for the teen as soon as he finds out which terrorist organization has them.  After all, those guys are old and washed up like Bill Ayers. 

Further south the American Army captured Joseph Kony in Africa!  Wait, sorry, there was a terrorist attack in Kenya where ali-Shabbob killed about 50 guys committing the crime of watching soccer and failing an Islam quiz.   

Back around to the east the Pakistanis are opening a can on the Taliban after their recent attacks on Karachi.  Guess they couldn't find anyone in Qatar to watch over them.  Even further east they still haven't found MH370.  The way things are going it won't be surprising to hear it's flying AWACs missions for the Chinese Uighurs.

Lost in the shuffle of all this "AQ on the run" news was that the government seemed to know pretty quick that AQ factions were taking credit for Benghazi because they were announcing it over captured State Department cell phones.   It's all phony don't cha know. 

Closer to home the wave of illegal alien children being shipped north to run cover for an influx of sex workers across the secure Mexican border continues with no end in sight.  So let's do comprehensive immigration amnesty and punish those enemies!   Anyone who says otherwise hates children. 

And good Lord, the chaos even extends to Washington, DC of all places.  The IRS just notified Congress that it cannot even handle rudimentary data storage because apparently their Blue Wave email system running on Windows 3.1 failed causing the 20meg hard drive to freeze up, according to the WaPo.  No word on whether they will continue to be responsible for Obamacare compliance.  Maybe they can get some XP systems in there--evidently they are pretty cheap right now.  Anyway, this is serious, perhaps criminal, even if there's not a smidgen of official corruption.  At least one ex-reporter has asked real questions about the emails but she's likely 'one of them'.     

Whew.  So yeah, playing golf is certainly a better choice than keeping focused on all this ticky tack stuff, especially when there are important things like a war on women to be fought and climate change deniers to be denied. That is, unless the law-breaker guy is correct. 

[Ed-  Not trying to be insensitive.   Snark is the only way for some of us to process this insanity.]     

Side Tracks

Saw this last weekend and did an LOL.  Hey, it's a golf-themed blog...

Freeze!

This is just absolutely getting hilarious..

Breaking: Eric Holder arrests self in DOJ sting; releases self after forgetting to read self Miranda rights — David Burge (@iowahawkblog) May 28, 2013

Check the comments for some funny add-ons as well.

OK, well the long Memorial Day weekend is over.  There wasn't a doc dump on Friday--far too obvious--but they did manage to give press secretary Jay Carney several days off last week, one more today (and of course the holiday), so the inevitable is being put off.  But eventually he's going to have to face the music and explain how the president could possibly expect the Attorney General to investigate himself.  He can start with explaining why that's not the funniest political thing ever.

Meanwhile, other things are causing havoc for the 1600 folks.  Obama had a nice diversionary photo-op trip to New Joisey to meet his BFF Chris Christie today, who promptly out-man-carded him at an arcade football toss, winning the president a stuffed Chicago bear--on the first toss, while POTUS was oh-for. 

Over at State, low key spokesman Patrick Ventrell tried to avoid explaining why two State employees were shot at a topless bar in Caracas (they were 'injured' somewhere outside the embassy).   And now NBC News is confirming that no, it wasn't just some low level employee in Cincinnati whom the IRS apologized for, things might go a little higher.  They've still got their friends so it's not over yet, but the kettle is slowly boiling.   

What next?  Or what diversion will happen next?  Maybe a certain politician coming out of the closet?  A big terror bust?  Maybe an announcement we're arming John McCain the Syrian rebels?   Proof of alien contact?   We await...

BRIEFING FOLLIES  5/29/13

Carney must have spent his time off coming up with talking points on Holder.  He would not be swayed today when asked by CNN, CBS, Fox and Mara Liason about the perjury issue.  Seems people are 'conflating' things or not understanding the legal nuances--see the Justice Dept for additional details.  Amazing hubris--telling people to see Eric Holder's office for more details about Eric Holder and Eric Holder's investigation of Eric Holder.  Here's the fireworks from today's Q&A..



Yes, they are going to seriously argue that no deception or misdirection took place when the AG told Congress he knew nothing about any event involving Rosen.  In the face of such utter nonsense the press room was far too quiet.  Guess they are starting to think--hey, this is just a Fox News reporter.  If things get to the point where only Ed Henry and Major Garrett are asking questions the administration will have won this issue.   Even Henry immediately flopped to a huge softball question on the improving economy, obviously to score some brownie points (which evoked laughter).  Intimidation works--just ask any Third World tinpot.

Break Time

No profanity needed..

Wait, What?

Here's Bill Maher absolutely blowing Rachel Maddow's mind...

 

Notice the cheers when she laid out the stock class envy boilerplate and the the lack of when he spoke. Funny thing is, he's a liberal comedian, not some 'corporate jet owner' or a 'well-connected Wall St banker', the normal caricatures of the rich used by the Maddows and Obamas of the world.

Matter of fact, more comments like that from people like Maher might just blow a hole through the socialist double-speak currently being employed to 'change' America. So thank you, Bill Maher.

The Gift that keeps on Giving

Obama's gun control czar..



Just don't mess with Joe while he gets this malarky together.   Meanwhile, we heard more about mental health in this debate than we have in the aftermath of Sandy Hook.

Birdies

It's Friday and I'm tired of politics.   So it's time for some philosophy..

(mild bad language)

Side Tracks

A little change this week.  This was an LOL for me.

Another Speech

Perhaps the networks could just show this instead...



SPEECH 7/25/11

The lecturer-in-chief has spoken and declared the government dysfunctional--except his part of course. He warned those scrubs in Congress (cough tea party) to set their personal grievances aside and do what's right for his reelection--after all, this ain't the health care bill! And he reminded them to stop playing politics with this issue because the entire world is watching--this is a big f'ing deal (even if he did initially send Joe Biden out to fix it)!

Well, let there be light I guess.

Odds and Ends

This is a strange article from CBS News. It purports to be a news story about the Dalai Lama visiting the White House to meet with Obama, but then it turns into an opinion piece suggesting that Obama should use 'his holiness' to mediate a debt ceiling bill. After all, according to the writer of this story his holiness has a lot of experience dealing with the totalitarian communist Chinese government, who haven't been very accommodating either--just like the GOP!

But maybe it's appropriate for Obama to get advice from his holiness. After all, he just recently admitted to being a Marxist. Maybe that will warrant a more dignified exit through the front door this time.

Speaking of the debt ceiling, why does the 'deadline' keep moving? During the brouhaha earlier this year about whether to pass a short-term continuing resolution (which according to Obama, America doesn't do) in lieu of a real budget (which apparently Congress doesn't do anymore), they were talking about the next big impasse being in March. Apparently they found a way to postpone catastrophe then, why not now?

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With the continuing unrest in Egypt (not being covered in the media anymore) we hear a lot about the Muslim Brotherhood and their future role in the proceedings. Most of the stories from major media sources are sanitized, but to get a real feel of what a Brotherhood leader thinks about world affairs this interview by Michael Totten is a must-read. It's as if he was having a debate with a US liberal on a message board.

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In News of the World news, the WaPo has actually written an article calling into question the highly flammable account of 9/11 victims' cell phones being hacked. Weirdly, all of congressfolk demanding investigations were not available for comment. Meanwhile the NY Times has made the Murdoch tabloid story front page news for a week now. Not that it's not news, but anyone who doesn't think they see some Fox News blood in the water please raise your hand.

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The bodyguard who killed Hamid Karzai's brother was a 'trusted CIA contact'? The story says he had been acting nervously of late, getting calls in the middle of the night and even making a trip to Quetta, Baluchistan province Pakistan, currently the capital of terrorism on planet earth. In other words, he had likely flipped to the Taliban. We don't know whether some of the nervousness was actually due to a tug of war with the CIA (maybe they monitored his trip to Quetta to gain intel) but in the end it was a fail. Anyone who thinks there won't be more flips as the US withdraws please raise your hand.

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Police bust teenage girls in Midway, Georgia for operating a lemonade stand without a permit. They switched to yard work to get their extra money, which as everyone knows is a much safer endeavor because it's a job Americans won't do.

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Not everything is cynicism here at Fore Left. There's always room for some mocking humor as well...

Looks like a good intro to one of those Southwest Airlines commercials. Then again to be fair, perhaps Southwest should make a similar commercial about one of their own pilots.. or even this blogger, who once wrote a post entitled "Obama has no chance".

Break Time

That's basically what our politicos are doing to us.

Is Matthews Trying to get Himself Fired?

First he demands Obama's long form birth certificate be released (by the way, what happened to Abercrombie?), now he's calling white people 'crackers'.

Any Fox News commentator using similar banal racial slang would already be a memory. Heck, even their lowliest of reporters would likely get the axe (with sneering sops like Matthews cheerleading from the sidelines). It would be a huge story--Bill O'Reilly says the N word.

Yet there's Tingles, still in his chair drawing a check, blathering away. It's pretty embarrassing ratings wise, almost as if Matthews could do an entire show of just saying nothing but the F word and few would care--because so few are watching. NBC could have bleeped the word but they apparently want the controversy. Too bad Russert isn't around, at least he would have cared. He's just spinning now.

Restoring Sanity, but Where?

According to the WaPo's coverage of Stewart's 'Restoring Sanity' rally:

The "Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear" is billed as a correction to what Stewart, Colbert and their fans consider the extremism and dishonesty that have infected the American political system, especially the self-righteousness and fear-mongering they see in the right-leaning Beck and his employer, Fox News. The rally is scheduled to include musical interludes by such reliable openers as the Roots and professional rally balladeer Sheryl Crow. The event also will be emphatically covered by ratings and Web-traffic hungry mainstream media -- including The Washington Post -- that Stewart and Colbert vigorously mock.

So there's your only-mentioned target of insanity. The big question is will they pick on Olbermann (Olberdouche), Maddow (Madcow), Matthews (Tingles), and Schultz (Sgt Schultz). Surely they are also visions of insanity in America circa 2010. Oh, and this.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE INSANITY? 10/30/10

This week's musical selection, dedicated to Jon Stewart and insanity in general..at least in music.



How many other rock bands could yodel?

MORE 10/30/10

Seems HuffPo bused in 10,000 non-partisans, according to HuffPo. Personal anecdote--heard a CBS radio news report around 3 pm local time that mentioned the crowd being mainly liberal, and of course they used a soundbite of someone saying the right has become too radical. As predicted this was nothing more than a moderate democratic rally timed to GOTV on Tuesday.

I kept waiting for them to lampoon the fear of Sarah Palin, Dick Cheney, Halliburton, or Social Security reform, or Global Warming, but didn't see it. The bigger question is whether this very large crowd will make Tuesday's results a lot closer. Gut instinct says the races will be closer than the media narrative.

MORE, FOR SOME REASON 10/30/10

Funny how it's OK for these folks to express fear:

GORDON PETERSON: Nina, columnist Paul Krugman says if the election goes as expected, his advice is be afraid, be very afraid. Should we take his advice?

NINA TOTENBERG, NPR: I am already afraid, very afraid. I mean, it’s not like governance has been going great. I think we’ll, I don't know whether I should be afraid, but there will be gridlock.

But that's not the kind of fear Stewart and Colbert were lampooning--that's the fear they were actually projecting by holding the rally. They really are afraid to lose one-party Democratic rule.

The same stuff was said in 1995 when Gingrich and crew rolled in to the House but the result was a stiff-arm of Clinton, more fiscally responsible government, and a decent economy up until 2000. Some of these folks need to stop fearmongering over the fearmongering.

The Age of Civility

This is apropos for a Friday going into the election next week..



HT Verum Serum

Break Time

Comedy of yesteryear, when times were also turbulent, but different somehow...

Side Tracks

One Left Nation

Just watching some of the MSNBC coverage of the rally, including these folks who led a creepy chant response thing swearing off wars and the processes of free markets that create jobs..


The girl on the left doesn't look so enthused but maybe there's a reason, who knows. Anyway, CNN has their typical non-biased biased coverage, including this gem:

Commentator Glenn Beck drew tens of thousands Tea Party activists to the Lincoln Memorial for his revival-style rally August 28.

Even the new math would not suggest 100,000+ is the same as 'tens of thousands'. AP has already admitted they didn't reach Beck/Palin attendance goals, but remember it's not a competition! It's not partisan! BTW, wonder if CNN sent any reporters into the crowd to find nazi signs or argue with the protesters? And then there was what seemed like a veiled threat by Trumka, the AFL-CIO guy:

"There is nothing, and I mean nothing, we can't do when we stand side by side, shoulder to shoulder," Trumka said. "We will stand together. And we will win together. And we won't let anyone — and I mean anyone — stand in our way."

Or what, he breaka u face? Is that what they mean by "one nation"?

But hey, it's music day. That reminds me of this...




MORE 10/2/10

BTW, the music selection was in response to the heavy handed rhetoric from Mr. Trumka not the rally-goers in general. They have every right to peaceably assemble and make fun of Beck, Palin and the Tea Party, and carry signs endorsed by the Communist Party USA.

Speaking of which, both the WaPo and NY Times have predictably sympathetic stories out, both saying "tens of thousands" attended the rally (so if we believe CNN's numbers for the Beck rally that makes it a tie!), including the obligatory swipes at Beck for pointing out the sponsors included CPUSA and La Raza. WaPo didn't even mention the CPUSA, but of course, they mentioned Beck.

Responding to the CPUSA sponsorship, project leader Ben Jealous of the NAACP claims they have a 'big tent'. But how big? Bin Laden is now on record of wanting more social spending and global warming mitigation. So...

Slide Slide

More free publicity for Jet Blue:

“To the passenger who called me a (expletive), (expletive) you. I’ve been in the business 28 years. I’ve had it. That’s it.”

Sources said Slater then grabbed some beer from the plane, deployed the inflatable slide, and took off in his car parked in an employee lot.

F you suckers, grab and beer and deploy down the emergency chute for a getaway. Yes, the ultimate meltdown and he's in some serious trouble (and he's got some serious issues), but geez, what a story. Bet the passengers weren't reaching for their bags anymore after that. And imagine the look on this guy's face going down the slide with a beer in his hand. It's all right out of an episode of Seinfeld or a Mel Brooks movie.

Reality will probably creep in during the next few days and lawsuits may even fly (pardon the pun), but for now just imagining this is hilarious. It brings to mind slides in general, and the last funniest slide I can recall was when Jerry Falwell slid down the waterslide at Jim Bakker's defunct Heritage amusement park...

Welcome Steve Slater to the comedy slide hall of fame..