It's funny to watch the redheaded spokeswoman at the State Dept try to tamp down what appears to be absolute mass chaos around the world. They tell em in media training, keep smiling!
But in reality there's not much to smile about. Smart Power seems to be running low on solar cells at every turn. In the north the Russians just put Ukraine on a pre-payment system for gas supply and sent them a bill, which means they're in default because they haven't paid lately. A Ukrainian transport plane was just shot down and Russian tanks were seen being slipped across the border and given to the 'rebels' there. But that crisis is over because the media has lost interest.
In Iraq there's a new crisis with bizarre scenarios that so defy imagination that nobody could have seen them coming except the Long War Journal. Sunni jihadists, who've been part of the 'rebels' fighting Assad and Iran in Syria with our de facto help, have suddenly hacked and chopped their way towards Baghdad chasing a Shiite-heavy army shedding its uniforms, guns, tanks and perhaps even Stinger missiles on their way south. They are being helped by some of Cheney's dead-enders we eliminated back in 2003. Speaking of Assad, he's now launching air strikes in.... Iraq, targeting the terrorists we're helping in Syria to target him. This is blow back on steroids.
What to do? Well, whenever there's a crisis this administration immediately sends out the young smiling faces to tell us everything is fine and that we're giving peace a chance, usually with a fancy diplomatic meeting in a snazzy hotel in Geneva complete with warm croissants and Dom Perignon 56--vegan choices available. As to those staff seen leaving our embassy at Fort Baghdad, they are only going on sight-seeing trips around the region and will be replaced by other 'staff', sometimes known as US Marines.
But they are not technically boots on the ground because the embassy is our ground and besides, Iraq was a dumb war and Bush's mistake will never be erased from history even if Hillary and Kerry pretend they never voted for it. And there's no military solution for this or any problem on earth, that is, unless we lose a military engagement to the bad guys, at which point Bush is right over there, throw a shoe at him.
There must be somewhere to turn for help. Why yes, eastward, to the people yelling "Death to America!" When the Ayatollahs start looking friendly enough to qualify as the enemy of our enemy we're in trouble. What next, Mookie al-Sadr in front of the embassy throwing flowers and waving the American flag welcoming us back? Sheer madness.
Go west, young man. Except when you go west you'll see the Palestinians have formed a 'technocratic' unity government that includes HAMAS but doesn't include them because that would be illegal as America designates them as terrorists and we don't deal with terrorists (until we do, at which point the mainstream media will show up to lecture us on the nuances) so we couldn't technically talk to the new government, wink, wink, nod, nod.
Meanwhile the Israelis are busy sweeping up the usual suspects all over the Holy Land after the kidnapping of three teenagers, including one with American citizenship. Word is Obama has already agreed to give up KSM and the Blind Shiekh in return for the teen as soon as he finds out which terrorist organization has them. After all, those guys are old and washed up like Bill Ayers.
Further south the American Army captured Joseph Kony in Africa! Wait, sorry, there was a terrorist attack in Kenya where ali-Shabbob killed about 50 guys committing the crime of watching soccer and failing an Islam quiz.
Back around to the east the Pakistanis are opening a can on the Taliban after their recent attacks on Karachi. Guess they couldn't find anyone in Qatar to watch over them. Even further east they still haven't found MH370. The way things are going it won't be surprising to hear it's flying AWACs missions for the Chinese Uighurs.
Lost in the shuffle of all this "AQ on the run" news was that the government seemed to know pretty quick that AQ factions were taking credit for Benghazi because they were announcing it over captured State Department cell phones. It's all phony don't cha know.
Closer to home the wave of illegal alien children being shipped north to run cover for an influx of sex workers across the secure Mexican border continues with no end in sight. So let's do comprehensive immigration amnesty and punish those enemies! Anyone who says otherwise hates children.
And good Lord, the chaos even extends to Washington, DC of all places. The IRS just notified Congress that it cannot even handle rudimentary data storage because apparently their Blue Wave email system running on Windows 3.1 failed causing the 20meg hard drive to freeze up, according to the WaPo. No word on whether they will continue to be responsible for Obamacare compliance. Maybe they can get some XP systems in there--evidently they are pretty cheap right now. Anyway, this is serious, perhaps criminal, even if there's not a smidgen of official corruption. At least one ex-reporter has asked real questions about the emails but she's likely 'one of them'.
Whew. So yeah, playing golf is certainly a better choice than keeping focused on all this ticky tack stuff, especially when there are important things like a war on women to be fought and climate change deniers to be denied. That is, unless the law-breaker guy is correct.
[Ed- Not trying to be insensitive. Snark is the only way for some of us to process this insanity.]