Tall people.. they're just better than you

This isn't the first study to suggest tall people have an advantage in life, but it's bound to tick off a few more people. Apparently ole stretch makes more dough because, well, he's just smarter than you are:

"As early as age three -- before schooling has had a chance to play a role -- and throughout childhood, taller children perform significantly better on cognitive tests,"

Makes sense. In politics, Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln were tall. In the modern world money has so corrupted the process that it's hard to say, but William the Slick and Reagan were taller than Nixon and Carter, I believe. Hillary is taller than McCain based on a complicated male to female ratio only tall people would understand. As to Nader, Bradley, and Kerry, they're tall but are apparently suffering from the effects of mind-altering drugs. But Ross Perot is short, and he lost. There ya go.

Hollywood actors are ALL tall in front of the camera thanks to platform shoes or props, but outside the studios they're on their own. Example, Tom Cruise (dumb), and Nicole Kidman (smart).

In sports they're all pretty dumb, but the best paid tend to be taller, so it works. The only place this study might not apply is within the government, where everyone is expected to be equally dumb based on federal law.

Of course, this new revelation brings yet another chance for discrimination suits, meaning another opportunity for the lawyers, so long as they're tall, of course.

Based on the study and commonly held social beliefs, the bottom of the barrel might be a 5 foot 2 inch white male named Randy born to Jewish republican parents in Alabama. If you see him, give him a hug. Or some money, he's probably broke.