The Grant standard

This article by Associated Press writer Shannon McCaffrey is so hilariously biased it should have had a warning label attached or been tagged as humor. Journalism students should refer to it when studying the topic.

President Bush's once-solid relationship with Southern women is on the rocks. "I think history will show him to be the worst president since Ulysses S. Grant," said Barbara Knight, a self-described Republican since birth and the mother of three. "He's been an embarrassment."

In the heart of Dixie, comparisons to Grant, a symbol of the Union, is the worst sort of insult,

Well, I be (for those outside the south, that's pronounced LIB, which means the same as 'I'll be darned', which means the same as 'you don't say?'). Contrary to popular TV shows we aren't still fighting the Civil Wa, er War Between the States down here. That means we don't obsessively compare every modern politician to U.S. Grant, Robert E. Lee or Jefferson Davis. Perhaps Miss McCaffrey doesn't realize how many non-southerners now populate southern cities, especially that big one down in Georgia that Sherman needlessly burned.

Whatever. The article continues by providing an interview with someone, apparently from West Hooterville:

"I'm going to go for the moderate, and these days that tends to be Democrats," Knight said.

The mere existence of Howard Dean proves that statement to be false, so evidently this woman's neighborhood has not yet been wired for 'lectricity.

The story, also picked up by CNN and others, pretends to be scientific by throwing around some suspect poll numbers that really don't support the premise. But the coup de grace was the attempt at balance. Yes, the good ole AP wasn't about to get tarred for being liberally biased, and wanted to present the other side [warning, before reading the following please conjure images of Granny, Jethro, Ellie May and Jed driving the turnip truck down to the local GOP headquarters to volunteer]. Now then:

Still, some Southern women remain stalwart supporters of the president and the Republican Party. At a watermelon festival in Chickamauga, in the mountains of northwest Georgia, substitute teacher Clydeen Tomanio said she remains committed to the party she's called home for 43 years.

"There are some people, and I'm one of them, that believe George Bush was placed where he is by the Lord," Tomanio said. "I don't care how he governs, I will support him. I'm a Republican through and through."

Was this was the only female Bush supporter they could find in Georgia, a "watermelon mom"? Seriously folks. How can someone read this article and not get the impression that all the clear-thinking ex-Bush voting women in Georgia would rather vote for a sock-puppet than a Republican? Or that the only Georgia peaches left supporting Bush are hillbillies at watermelon festivals who think he's on a mission from God? Good job, AP.

MORE 9/7/06

Here's a southern woman they didn't poll. There are others, and they ain't happy.