Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This Blog Now Part of the "Signature Litter"

It's bad enough that Ugo Chavez is trying to shut down golf courses in Venezuela for being a useless bourgeois endeavor, now 'researchers' and various other nuts in Europe have suddenly discovered the hidden evil of the golf ball itself:
The scale of the dilemma was underlined recently in Scotland, where scientists -- who scoured the watery depths in a submarine hoping to discover evidence of the prehistoric Loch Ness monster -- were surprised to find hundreds of thousands of golf balls lining the bed of the loch.
Hey, maybe the locals were just trying to kill the darn thing. By the way, wherever there is water there will soon be a golf ball. That's a corollary invented by the Scots during the dark ages, right after they invented the 'sport' itself. There are already penalties--and pretty stiff ones at that--for dunking your ball in a pond (Rules of Golf pg 894, sec 3, sub 1 part 5s update 2).

One UK lawmaker even quipped that golf balls are our planet's "signature litter". Well yes, but only for those who can't
"Keep your balls on the fairway or invest in a stock of biodegradable balls."
That vaguely reminds me of an old Johnny Carson joke. Never mind.

Of course this poses yet another problem for the first golfer, who must now bring along an EPA submersible crew to fish out any errant duck hooks or topped slices into the drink lest he be compared to a flat earth believer in a faked moon landing...

Or wait, maybe golf ball decontamination is already in the Stimulus.


Debbie said...

biodegradable balls???


People have gone nuts AC.

Deborah F. Hamilton
Right Truth

A.C. McCloud said...

You just said nuts in a story about balls, Debbie. OK, I'm getting closer to that Carson joke again.