Manatee in Memphis

In the river, that is. One of the lovable cow-like marine creatures was spotted in the Big Muddy on Monday and caused quite a stir.

Surely there's some juvenile way to tie this event to the Ford family, Bob Corker or even Bush.

I got it. This poor wandering creature was obviously lost due to Katrina. Since Bush allowed Katrina then blew the levees the big fella simply can't find the ocean. Bush knows--he's always known--and is keeping the lost Manatee problem under wraps by muzzling government climate scientists so as not to spill the inconvenient truth as told by Al Gore.

On Monday two 'truth-seekers' climbed the ledge in front of the NOAA building in Silver Spring, MD and chanted, "Bush: Let NOAA Tell the Truth," before being plucked off by a police cherry picker. Their rationale:

...NOAA denies scientific evidence that recent severe weather, such as powerful hurricanes, is caused by climate change. They also allege NOAA withholds proof of this effect.

Apparently they were out smoking something the day the teacher explained the definition of climate. And howza bout that hurricane thing? Really working out well so far, eh? But such are only speedbumps on the path to gloomdom. We must have faith in climate science, which clearly shows the smoky end is in sight, er, unless the democrats take the Congress next month.

On second thought, maybe we better check the Manatee. It could be an environmentalist in a Manatee suit trying to make a point. Or maybe it's just Borat.

MORE 10/25/06

Heavens, by the sound of this story we've got a clone of the movie "Jaws" developing in the Wolf River harbor to the Mississippi:

Underweight or not, the manatee drew scores of residents and kayakers to the harbor area Tuesday.

"We're going to have all of Memphis down here," Vidulich said as he watched onlookers from a Harbor Patrol boat.

Jaws afficionados will recall the dramatic point where Quint says, "he's gone under the boat!". Well, we've got that too,

"I think he dove, John," Vidulich called out to Officer John Leonard, who was steering the vessel. "He might be under the boat."

Let's just hope some of our local yahoos don't do anything stupid. That's why I'm staying home.

UPDATE 10/26/06

Officials (perhaps the person in charge of the lost Manatee office--hey don't put it past the Herenton administration) have scehduled a rescue of the sea cow today. Whether "Manny" desires a rescue or even cares for his new name is unknown at this time.

A good blogger would have grabbed a digital camera and rushed to the scene. As for me, I'll just depend on those being paid to do it, who now say Manny has trapped himself between two barges for the time being. Meanwhile, officials nervously await the arrival of the Sea World team, who it seems must have taken the train.

EPILOGUE 10/28/06

It's amazing how good intentions can sometimes look so silly. Manny the Memphis Manatee has apparently decided to swim off somewhere else like Manatees are apt to do, rather than being 'rescued' here. Perhaps he was scared away by all the watercraft and news helicopters, or perhaps he just wasn't ready to leave yet.

This event was just one of those animal oddities, just like the crocodile who managed to reach Lake Placid. Oh wait, that was just a movie.