It all began with a simple phrase...

There were a few bombshells in today's episode of Patrick Fitzgerald's Dog and Pony Show starring Scooter Libby, at least according to those in the know. As the Libby show rolls along it's ironic to note that it all started with 16 words in the 2003 State of the Union message, another of which will start momentarily.

I prefer to think of Plamegate as a long-running and confusing soap opera. It needs an appropriate name. How about, "Search for Sense" in the spirit of the old "Search for Tomorrow"? I'm open to other suggestions from those who care, but for now here's a dress rehearsal of the show. Cue narrator.. and...action!


Thanks for joining us today on "Search for Sense" brought to you by Niger Mines delicious "Yellowcake". Welcome to the exciting new season. All your favorites are back for another action-packed season, including I. be Scooter Libby, Patrick "Just da facts" Fitzgerald, Richard "Darth" Cheney, George W. Bushitler, and Judy "Runamok" Miller. Look for special guest appearances by Joe "it ain't so" Wilson and his lovely wife, top secret undercover temptress Valerie "the Flame" Plame.

Previously on "Search for Sense"...

• Darth Cheney began to wonder about a British MI6 assessment that Iraq was seeking uranium from Africa. He asked the CIA about it.
• Someone in CIA (Vinny the fixer?) sent an unknown ex-Ambassador to check it out, based partly on a recommendation from his CIA analyst wife (who was working on Iraqi WMDs). This mystery setup remains unsolved.
• The Ambassador traveled to Niger and drank sweet mind tea with an ex-government official, who actually confirmed that Iraq's former Envoy to the Vatican (and an expert on Saddam's nuclear program) had visited the country in 1999. But nothing had been going on lately, as far as he knew.
• The Ambassador, a member of the Kerry for President team, came back to DC and was de-briefed in his home in front of his analyst wife. No written trip report was ever requested or completed.
• In the interim Bushitler used the British assessment in this 2003 SOTU message, warning about Saddam.
• It ain't so Joe then went to the NY Times and wrote an Op-Ed, which claimed Bushitler was lying because he'd seen no yellercake in his visit.
• Whispers started about the man, including his rumored spy wife. DC journalists start to get wind that Joe's wife might work at the Agency.
• Darth Cheney saw the article in the Times, circled a few curious items, and instructed his go-team to "get it out there", codeword for kill Wilson. His story, that is. The troops obliged by passing gossip with busybody journalists, who probably already knew.
• Richard Granite Head Armitage spread the word to Washington Post star reporter Bob "Hollywood" Woodward and Robert "the grouch" Novak.
• When Novak hit the enter button on his story he had no idea of the maelstrom he was about to create, outing a covert analyst listed in "Who's Who in America".
• The CIA and MSM were shocked, shocked, that such a heinous violation of the Intelligence Identities Protection Act could have occurred and sent out a criminal referral. Politicians and reporters next demanded an Independent Prosecutor to track down the scurvy leaker. Bushitler announced that any scurvy leakers found guilty would be fired.
• Just the Facts Fitzgerald was selected as the chief lawman and whistleblower, and blew into town from the windy city.
• Within days of getting an apartment he became aware of the scurvy leaker's identity--it was ole Granite Head.
• That started a full-scale investigation of the White House.
• He began interviewing anyone remotely connected to Miss Flame, including media, government and people who lived in her neighborhood.
• Some of the journalists valiantly refused to give up their sources, even though their sources had given prior permission to give themselves up.
• One such journalist, Miss Runamok, preferred going to the big house rather than giving up her source, who'd apparently already agreed to be given up, unless it was actually Granite Head.
• She finally relented and agreed to testify, but only after narrowly agreeing it would only be about her conversations with I. be Scooter. During this time it was disclosed that I. be had written her a very strange letter while in jail, talking about biological and nuclear weapons and the roots of certain western trees.
• After testifying she was summarily dismissed and vilified by her old boss at the New York Times along with the rest of her former mates in the press and the entire left wing of America.
• Another journalist, Matt "Eclair" Cooper, pretended he might go to jail rather than divulge, but caved at the last minute after his source repeatedly insisted his earlier release to grant the use of his name. Eclair's marriage to a top Democrat strategist was deemed inconsequential trivia.
• The Senate, still Republican at the time, looked into Joe's trip to Niger and his subsequent Op-Ed and concluded he'd been less than altogether truthful. "Cambodia John" Kerry then quietly dismissed him from the Kerry for President team.
• Liberals spent the next two years in a constant sugar plum dream state, awaiting the promised"Fitzmas present" of seeing Bushitler staffers being "frog-marched" out of the front door of the White House under multiple indictment.
• In what must have been the letdown of the century, Fitzgerald only indicted I be Scooter for lying to FBI investigators and the Grand Jury, which is somehow still a crime in this country despite past precedent.
• Meanwhile Granite Head bragged that he hadn't seen the need to waste any cheese hiring an attorney, but denied any deal was struck. His confidant Hollywood Woodward doubted there was any crime committed and wondered what all the fuss was about.

And that's where we are. Now, to last week's show....

Fitzgerald opened the trial by reminding jurors it's not about the war while Libby's attorneys meticulously grilled potential jurors by asking them if they've ever harbored ill thoughts of Bushitler. Most had.

We pick up the action with today's show, which featured Fitzgerald painting an evil picture of Darth Cheney but not explaining why he was never indicted. Libby's attorneys then shocked everyone--seems Scooter holds no love for the evil administration, either. He made a vow not to be scapegoated to save Rove's miserable butt, no how, no way. Besides, we now know he was once a war protester and can even name all the episodes of Star Trek by heart. And he likes the environment and writes racy novels. Maybe he's one of those reasonable folks Mike Stark was talking about.

Now for some exciting highlights from our next show!

Watch as we uncover the mystery of why Darth Cheney would agree to testify for his pal Scooter if I. be hates the administration. Does it mean Darth will drop a dime on his boss? Is there a secret blockbuster bombshell bluedarter deal in the making?? Or is it really just a stunt to allow Darth to leave and let Rudy "the Jewel" Gulliani or Condi "the loner" Rice step into his shoes?

Tune in next time and find out..