Slate.com
Madam Speaker has just announced that she'll "do the Diane" and visit Syria while on her Middle East Surrender Tour. Cripes, that joke Bush told comparing her to his mother must have really hit hard. The speaker for the Speaker said that other than visiting the Israeli Knesset on Sunday the rest of her itinerary was top secret for security reasons. Isn't security a dirty word these days? Guess it depends on who's getting secured.
Anyway, White House spokesperson Dana Perino spoke for all thinking people when she said:
"We think that someone should take a step back and think about the message that it sends ... to our allies.""Think"? It's feel, Ms. Perino, feel. Welcome to our new reality.
To heck with Syria, the real question is her other secret destinations. Probably a swing back by Baghdad and maybe Saudi Arabia, but how about Tehran? Just imagine her there talking to Mockmood while across town the al-qook Revolutionary Guards puppeteer another confession out of the Royal Navy prisoners (after a delicious meal).
But hold the phone. Let me propose a very strange and counter-intuitive idea. What if Ms. Nancy is not who she seems? Everyone believes she's at odds with Bush and wants to end the war, probably even the Middle Eastern tinhorns. Who better to gather intelligence? If she goes to Iran she can start by helping them chant "death to America" then maybe crack a few "Bush is an idiot" jokes while casually asking where they keep the infidels.
Yes, such a dangerous and patriotic stunt might result in her capture but in a war that threatens the very liberal lifestyle she's fought so many years to preserve, like womens rights and reproductive rights, currently given a backseat in that part of the world, chances must sometimes be taken. I'm imagining a ticker-tape parade down Park Avenue, or maybe her being crowned as an honorary Royal by the Queen.
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