Thursday, April 08, 2010

Tiger Time

Another major, another story about Tiger, and 60 year old Tom Watson is once again leading the tournament. Go figure.

Looks like Tiger's detractors have found a way to use their bullhorn without encountering the 90 man security force or Augusta's ground troops--ain't free speech grand? Meanwhile the buzz is about the Nike commercial featuring the voice of Earl Woods, speaking about something completely different yet used to address a massive sex scandal that nearly toppled an industry. Somehow I'm thinking Mr. Woods might have taken a little more aggressive tone with his son in the real world, but that's just me.

In my view Woods had two viable options in the self-redemption department. One, he could have jettisoned ALL his sponsors and returned for the US Open--our national tournament. Everyone knows he loves the Masters so giving it up would have shown true sacrifice (I wouldn't want to give up even watching for a year). But that would have kept a lot of folks out of work, though. For instance, we have a Nike plant here in Memphis. But the notion of earning his way back onto the tour might have played pretty well over time.

Alternatively he could have just thrown up his hands and taken ownership of the whole thing. Taking ownership would have estranged him permanently from Elin and family, but does she really have any cause for forgiving him with bimbos and next door neighbors still coming out of the woodwork? Sure it's a "high risk" play, like going for the green in two on a par five over water, but most of his fans are males and we would have forgiven. And we buy shoes and shirts and balls. Yeah, he would become the biggest cad in town but Wilt Chamberlain wrote a book bragging about his conquests. Tiger could have said, "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam". In a Tiger sorta way. He wouldn't have any major sponsors left doing that either but eventually they'd return, just different brands. Like maybe Extenze. That would be neat on the cap and quite pertinent to golf, too!

Meanwhile, life goes on. We're still going broke, health care is still passed, troops are dying in Iraq and Afghanistan and Iran is threatening a nuke attack. So I'm planning to enjoy the azaleas and the birdies, no matter who makes them, and hope for somebody new--or old--to take the green jacket. Anybody but Tiger.

UPDATE 4/8/10

"and 60 year old Tom Watson is once again leading the tournament." Well, check that--50 year old Fred Couples. And 52 year old Sandy Lyle is only a few shots back. Those guys were classy, but only Watson has more wins and he's twice Tiger's age. So who knows, maybe winning with class is just old fashioned and outdated or even racist. Woods bagged every available bird off the course and still has his trophies; his blond super attractive wife; his most important sponsor; and got polite applause from the gallery, and is still addicted to sex. What's to suffer?

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